The Breathing Prosperity blog

Wait, don’t go if this offends or annoys you – bear with me. It’s important.

Photo credit: Demotivate.org

Either from the time we were children or from the time we picked up the study of personal development when we were adults, we’ve been told that success and winning are the pinnacles of life. Achievement and being the best – at relationships, at our career, even at personal development - is the epitome of a good life.

This has morphed into softer, more touchy-feely subjects in the past few years as people are getting more in touch with their inner selves, but there is still a pervasive sense of needing to be good at things – to be good at healing ourselves, at meditating, at yoga or at balancing career and motherhood, for instance.

We have this perception that ‘out there’ somewhere are these winners, these creatures who ‘win’ at everything they do, who succeed greatly, dress better than we do, talk easily and graciously to all people and generally live amazing lives. They have a certain something that, if only we do the right things, we can have too, but maybe we secretly think we’ll never have it.

Almost everyone has felt this at one time or another, though most of us don’t admit it – perhaps not even to ourselves. Most of us would never overtly call ourselves losers, but the proof is in the following small test: look in the mirror and say to yourself ‘You’re a winner! You’re a champion. You’re the best!’ and see what happens. Do you hear things like ‘Yeah, right. Whatever. That’s not true – not you! I wish’ (that mind of yours, talking back! — the nerve!)? These are the truths of what we think about ourselves. How much do you suppose this has held you back from achieving your dreams – from even dreaming in the first place? It is WE who are holding ourselves back, in the form of subtle, familiar self-judgements.

There is something to be said for thinking like a winner – for believing in yourself and expecting nothing but the best from – and for – yourself. Start treating yourself like the fabulous creature you are – like a winner in every way, because you are. You are magnificent, and capable, and powerful.  Stop looking for signs from the universe, validation from anyone around you or for a miracle to happen. Decide what you want, realize that only you can get it, and go get it!

You may enjoy this related post Self Development: Winning Principles.

Belief is an incredible thing. It’s intangible, subtle yet powerful, and entirely malleable, meaning we can change it entirely from one day to the next. It has the power to make or break our dreams – to act as a catalyst propelling us forward or a wall keeping us in jail.

Our various beliefs hold deep power over us because they were instilled in us during impressionable moments: childhood vulnerability, moments of emotional turmoil or weakness, and at turning points in our lives. We stick to them and feel they are real because they are so deeply embedded.

Beliefs are also embedded deeply via repetition, even if it’s the repetition of inane and otherwise meaningless babble, such as on television shows and commercials. If you go back and watch some of your favorite shows and movies from your childhood, you may be shocked to see how many of the clichés are in your psyche; that they formed part of your idea about how the world works and what men and women are like.

Our beliefs drive our actions, which drive our results. It’s such a simple concept, yet when were we taught this? Who has ever shown us to explore and question our beliefs? The opposite is true: most of us were told ‘facts’ which were, in reality, the beliefs of the advisor – teacher, parent, friend. Most of us come upon this process of exploration and questioning ourselves as adults, looking to improve or change something with which we are dissatisfied.

For a VERY good look at how our beliefs drive us and affect our results in life, see this recent video by Tony Robbins: http://tonyrobbinstraining.com/320/interview-with-frank-kern-and-john-reese/. In this worthwhile video Tony gives a fantastic explanation of why people are not getting the results they want in life, and it’s really quite interesting, and somewhat unexpected (as in, NOT what everyone always says). It’s also very inspiring, since he also provides, inherent in the explanation, an obvious source of overcoming the dilemma. Invest the half an hour and you could, quite literally, change your motivation and the path of your subsequent results overnight.

This was brought to my attention by my online acquaintance and fantastic manifester(sp?) and questioner of limiting beliefs, Lyman Reed. Thanks, Lyman!