I hate small talk. I’ve always had an aversion to talking about trivial things, just for the sake of chatting and being polite. As a sociable adult, I’ve learned to be able to ‘turn it on’ and be socially adept in public, but I much prefer having deep, meaningful conversations.

I feel like I’m ‘coming out of the closet’ saying this, as if there’s something wrong with it – or me. I’ve always felt this – that there is something wrong with me for feeling this way. I absolutely love talking about things that matter, and I find when I’m talking to people socially I make eye contact and try to get at who is behind the small talk. I want to know who’s really in there, and get to the heart of things that matter to them.

Most people think and talk about trivia all day long – other people’s faults, what’s for dinner, complaints, worries…My partner has a vast network of friends and acquaintances whom he loves chatting to and keeping up with on facebook, which I find inane. I tease him about how often he updates his facebook status, and I wonder why…I thought I was jealous of all his social connections, but the truth is I don’t WANT that kind of social connection. I see the kinds of updates people put and it makes me cringe. I tend to respond to links and posts which have impact and explore something life-changing.

Lo and behold, I just came across an enlightening article on this very subject. It’s OK to be deep and want deeper connections! It’s OK to not want to talk about something silly when you meet someone, and there are ways to enjoy more instant, deeper connections with people. Steve Pavlina’s article Soulful Relationships is one I’ve somehow missed until now, although I think I’ve read most of his work. He is a brave soul who is ahead of me on certain paths which are important to me, and I admire the way he thinks. This article was, for me, a worthwhile read because it instantly helped me see a better way – a way I have been intuitively seeking and wanting all my life.

I love the personal development world because the people in it tend to be deeper, more aware and conscious, willing to think and talk about things that really matter. I have come to realize that I simply enjoy my own company and that of people who have soulful, important things on their minds. I have a few really good friends and many more kindred spirits online – and that’s just perfect. Thanks to Steve and his lovely wife Erin - I look forward to meeting you in a couple of weeks.