The Breathing Prosperity blog

You ARE, you know…

You realize that, right?

There is a bizarre human tendency I’ve been becoming more and more aware of lately, kind of like there’s a big secret we all keep and don’t even acknowledge to ourselves.

If one were to look from, say, outer space, at the way we humans live and interact and deal with both life and death, I’ll bet it would look very odd indeed. Picture it:

We all walk around knowing that humans, as individuals, die. We watch the cycle of life play out in myriad ways all around us every day and each moment: from humans to other animals to plant life even to the life cycle of stars if we’re curious about the Universe around us. We see babies born and we watch them grow (playing a little Louis Armstrong in my head…), and conversely we experience the death of family pets or animals we may accidentally run over, for instance. As we grow older, we see that people around us die. More and more as we grow through life, we witness people dying around us, and yet, somehow, most of us manage to believe that it won’t happen to us, or at least not for such a very long time that we needn’t worry about it.

Depending upon where we live, and on what our cultural and religious and societal influences are, we may experience death as a very commonplace phenomenon (such as in war-torn countries) or even as a reward (such as in certain religious sects). Even so, it is the rare individual who contemplates their own death, and often such individuals are considered morbid or perhaps even mentally ill. In typical ‘western’ countries, someone who is challenged with life-threatening pain and illness and wants to end their suffering is often thought of as wrong. In many ‘eastern’ and more esoteric belief systems death is acknowledged as a part of life, but even then many do not face that inevitability fully when it comes to themselves.

This article is meant not to debate nor even discuss the morals or righteousness of any particular way of thinking, except in the very largest sense, as I think we – mankind – are doing ourselves a great disfavour. By denying our own natural life cycle, by being so afraid our of own ends that we won’t even consciously face the possibility, we live like a race of crazy creatures with our proverbial heads in the sand. Even when faced with grave evidence (no pun intended) of our inevitable demise – at least in this form – such as the death of a parent or someone else very close to us, we somehow manage to separate ourselves from the knowledge that we, too, shall face such an end. Because, by nature, we don’t KNOW what lies afterwards (if anything), we feel abject fear at the prospect.

I submit that we are missing the passion and ‘now’-ness available to us as our birthright. Whether we employ any religious or spiritual beliefs or not, were we as a race to accept, consciously and with open hearts and minds, that death is a natural part of our own cycles, we would be impelled to enjoy our moments more. If we all knew and acknowledged as a matter of course that our time here is limited, I suspect we’d be more conscious, and would make more of our lives. There would be no settling, no long tedious days, no years spent doing things we hate or making others’ lives and joys more important than our own (unless we wanted to!). We would all be more creative, more joyous and more understanding, because we would behave in a more authentic manner.

Here is an analogy: Imagine, if you will, that you’ve been able to book an exciting, very exclusive and expensive 12-hour journey which is very precious to you. Imagine that on this journey you will be able to spend a limited period with people you adore and then your time will be up. Also, there will be valued opportunities for seeing the most beautiful sights your eyes can behold, and to experience fulfilling activities that have deep meaning for you. Because your time will be extremely limited and because you’ve paid a very large amount of money for this experience, you will want to stay awake and drink in every moment, to enjoy each second with all your senses, and ensure you get the most value out of it. You wouldn’t fall asleep, and you certainly would not take anything for granted.

Now, surely the parallel above to our lives here on earth is very obvious. Is it because our lives seem long that they are treated as less precious? Even our kids become commonplace at some point, don’t they? When we first have a new child, it seems like such an incredible miracle. We watch our babies as they sleep at night and gaze in awe at the little person we’re blessed to care for. Then, somehow we end up yelling at our cranky kids in the grocery store and forgetting entirely that we wanted our lives to be about fun, about miracles, about enjoying every precious moment. Of course, overall, these grumpy moments do not speak of how deeply we love our children and are just momentary reactions, but could there be a different, more satisfying and fulfilling way to BE human?

Perhaps our lives do seem too ‘long’ for us to feel open ecstasy each day, each moment. Is it possible or even healthy to do so? I don’t know. I’m not sure. What I DO believe, what I’m more convinced of every day, is that we would live very differently if we all spoke our secret – if we told our kids that their lives are limited but their possibilities are not – ‘You will see that we all die, and your day will come and you never know when. Do what you love, feed and feel your passion, go and explore your world and give to it your best, most magnificent self, every day.’

Let’s embrace the life force that flows in us, while it still flows. This does not have to be a depressing or morbid thought. If our beautiful life cycle was fully acknowledged as a part of our heritage and destiny, I believe our lives and the legacies we leave, the connections we forge and the experiences we’d create, would all be very much richer. We would revere the elderly as we once did, instead of making old age somehow mean irrelevance. We would find more meaning in relationships and we would fight less, if at all. If it is true that it is human nature to place value on things that are limited or will be taken from us, then isn’t our LIFE the most precious and valuable thing of all?

What is it that makes you feel connected to your world, your life? Is it your family, your spouse, your friends? Is it your job or your yoga class or the volunteer work you do?

I am being given an opportunity as I write to figure out the answer to that question, and it is proving quite challenging. I am hoping that by getting my thoughts out of my head and onto this page, I’ll gain some clarity and in turn provide some insight to you as well.

(The following was written last week when I was on a ship in the middle of the Pacific, with no internet and no phone.)

I am out to sea, hundreds of miles from land, sailing the Pacific ocean on the way from the beautiful Hawaiian islands to Vancouver, BC. Internet connection is both sketchy and very expensive, so I’ve been keeping it to a bare minimum – besides, it’s a vacation!

My point is that being out to sea with no connection to loved ones, only a bit of news, and little to no sense of time (the days seem to meld into one another), I am feeling disconnected. It’s not a good feeling, and it leaves me with a sense of melancholy I’m trying to shake. Here I am on a beautiful cruise ship, and while I have my daughter with me, she’s off playing with other kids much of the time, leaving me with plenty of time to work, reflect, exercise, etc..

Now I KNOW that my sense of connection should come from an inner spark, rather than from any relationship or place. Why is it, then, I am longing for home and for my sweetheart and for my parents and my ‘normal’ life? I absolutely love to travel and have created my life around the ability to pick up and do so at any time – so why am I feeling forlorn?

I think the sense of isolation I feel is very much involved – I didn’t realize how isolating it is to be away from land and internet and just, well, people in general. This is a very small ship and although it is beautiful, I can’t help but notice that we’re all alone out here on this vast blue ocean. The internet has been down all day so even my momentary fix is unavailable.

So, knowing that I am a whole, complete person unto myself, that the Universal spirit pervades everything and everyone and that, in fact, we are all one anyway, I am attempting to cultivate the feeling of connectedness I so treasure (and didn’t realize it until I lost it). Even this writing somehow makes me feel connected, as I know it will be read by my Breathing Prosperity readers and that makes me feel happy.

A lesson for me is that we never really know ourselves until we are truly in isolation. I spend much of my time at home on my computer these days, but I’m in a condo full of people and have many family and friends only a phone call – or an instant message – away. How much those connections mean to me, I never realized. My intent here, however, is to determine how I can create within myself the wholeness and lack of longing I am aiming for. I feel I’m a fairly self-dependent person and don’t need much ‘maintenance’ to please me…I should be able to go anywhere and feel happy and be able to enjoy myself, especially as I believe that I’m creating it all!

With that in mind, it’s time to ask myself “What do I want?”

I want: to smile and have a great time, to cherish every moment I’m here without longing for home, to be fully in the now and feeling satisfied, content and happy, to appreciate and savour each experience and moment as it comes, to express myself as a complete, happy, excited and joyous human being who is simply thrilled to be on this planet, feeling the wind and hearing the waves and grateful to be alive.

Presto! This did the trick.

Lesson: Remember to always, ALWAYS focus on what you want. I’ve not been doing that, and hence the poignant, bittersweet and lonesome feelings I’ve been having are definitely self-created. I knew it, but I had to delve into it to break the spell. Thanks for ‘listening!’ I hope this may help you some day when you need it.