The Breathing Prosperity blog

We hear a lot of talk about limiting beliefs: they hinder you, they sneak up uninvited when you least expect them, sabotaging your efforts to attract and create the life of your dreams.

Just exactly what are these critters, and what can we do about them?

Expand Your Financial Mindset – and Your Abundance – For Good!

This discussion came up recently on a Law of Attraction group I am part of, and since many people seem to struggle with this concept, I thought it might be good to go over some basics here.

First things first: realize that your own beliefs are very personal to you. They are not outside of you or so deeply buried that you are unfamiliar with them. Rather, they are whispered to you almost every day, by little voices in your head which are likely so familiar to you that you don’t even notice them. (If you’re wondering what little voice/s I’m talking about, it’s the little voice that said ‘What little voice?’)

This is why such beliefs are so insidious and dangerous – the familiarity factor. They may be so familiar to you that they feel unquestionably TRUE. This is the true danger.

Some common examples of limiting beliefs include:

• Any inner conviction which tells you you can’t do or have or be something, often based on such factors as race, gender, religion, economic status or other ‘outside’ issue. For instance, ‘I can’t be president of this company because a) I’m a woman b) I don’t have the education c) I’m not smart enough d) I don’t have the connections,’ etc.. Your mind may not deliver this belief to you in such obvious terms, and this subtleness is one reason you haven’t noticed it. The ego, or subconscious mind, is very good at convincing us in our own language and vernacular, of what we are not capable of.
•  Any feeling that someone is better than you are, or even that you are better than someone else. These types of beliefs can be instilled by parents or social conditioning, or can be gathered to us when we are kids due to insecurities we may have felt. These beliefs skew reality and don’t allow us to offer our passion and gifts to the world, nor to enjoy and accept abundance and the gifts of others.
• Being resigned to things being ‘just the way they are.’ This applies to your personal and business life and everything in between. Whether you live in a home or are in a relationship you don’t like, or you wish you had more money, or are in any other situation you feel powerless to change, this is a deep and powerful demonstration of limiting beliefs at play. Feeling like a victim or a small, helpless person is a big trap many of us fall into, and although it is uncomfortable, it is actually a common comfort zone. It is also the source of immense regret for many people as they move into the later years of their lives and wish they had found and exercised their personal power. As Marianne Williamson and Nelson Mandela tell us, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that most frightens us.” We are powerful, deeply creative beings, and if we’ve chosen to create victim-hood it can be difficult to admit this and move into another, more empowered, self-centered (in a good way) way of being. It is, however, imperative that we do so, for our own happiness and mental and physical health, and if we ever want to break free of limiting beliefs and enjoy the challenges of creating our dreams.

While our beliefs are complex, multi-layered, and often unconscious, the good news is they can be found and changed into more empowering, life-affirming, conscious beliefs.  Following are some ideas on how you can find and either and replace or purge your inner, limiting beliefs (note that finding them is a separate step, and sometimes sudden awareness of a belief that’s been holding you back is enough to trigger its’ release):

• EFT(emotional freedom technique) is a great and immediate way to bring up beliefs you’re unaware of and to replace them with empowering ones right away. For a great book on EFT with some fantastic explanations and exercises, try Carol Look’s Attracting Abundance with EFT. TIP: For purging beliefs specifically about money and to enjoy amazing expansion of your prosperity mindset, try the popular 30 Days to Wealth.
• Start a list of all the things you’d like to do, and think BIG. As you go, you’ll find niggling little thoughts that tell you why you can’t have or do something…they may seem entirely sane and reasonable. These are some of your limiting beliefs and it’s not likely they are based on reality – they are based on a complex web of things you’ve been told and conclusions you’ve come to over the past many years. Remember that you are no longer that person – you are NOW, and now is full of endless possibilities. Discard those thoughts that aren’t serving you.
• Do something out of your comfort zone, such as going to a dance class or attending a business networking class. Anything that comes up as FEAR is hiding a limiting belief. These are usually consistent over your entire life, meaning that similar thoughts likely hold you back in many areas of your life. For instance, if your mind tells you ‘I can’t do that, I’m so awkward, I’m not good with people, I am shy, I am not capable, I am stupid’ – whatever – that doesn’t mean these things are true! They are things you’ve been telling yourself for a long time (what kind of friend are you!?), and these thoughts probably stop you in many situations, both business and personal.
• Get around people doing what you want. Any thoughts which come up (and they will!) are limiting beliefs for you. In this way, you’ll immerse yourself in the lifestyle you want, you’ll enjoy learning from mentors, and you’ll find and purge limiting beliefs at the same time.

These are just a quick few. Limiting beliefs are sometimes thought of as strange, enigmatic mysteries because we hear so much about them and about the need to get rid of them. This perception is part of the problem. Actually, they are very close to home – they are as familiar to you as your own face and you hear them all the time in your head. Find them and get rid of them, and enjoy the climb to your wildest dreams!

Good luck!

What is it that makes you feel connected to your world, your life? Is it your family, your spouse, your friends? Is it your job or your yoga class or the volunteer work you do?

I am being given an opportunity as I write to figure out the answer to that question, and it is proving quite challenging. I am hoping that by getting my thoughts out of my head and onto this page, I’ll gain some clarity and in turn provide some insight to you as well.

(The following was written last week when I was on a ship in the middle of the Pacific, with no internet and no phone.)

I am out to sea, hundreds of miles from land, sailing the Pacific ocean on the way from the beautiful Hawaiian islands to Vancouver, BC. Internet connection is both sketchy and very expensive, so I’ve been keeping it to a bare minimum – besides, it’s a vacation!

My point is that being out to sea with no connection to loved ones, only a bit of news, and little to no sense of time (the days seem to meld into one another), I am feeling disconnected. It’s not a good feeling, and it leaves me with a sense of melancholy I’m trying to shake. Here I am on a beautiful cruise ship, and while I have my daughter with me, she’s off playing with other kids much of the time, leaving me with plenty of time to work, reflect, exercise, etc..

Now I KNOW that my sense of connection should come from an inner spark, rather than from any relationship or place. Why is it, then, I am longing for home and for my sweetheart and for my parents and my ‘normal’ life? I absolutely love to travel and have created my life around the ability to pick up and do so at any time – so why am I feeling forlorn?

I think the sense of isolation I feel is very much involved – I didn’t realize how isolating it is to be away from land and internet and just, well, people in general. This is a very small ship and although it is beautiful, I can’t help but notice that we’re all alone out here on this vast blue ocean. The internet has been down all day so even my momentary fix is unavailable.

So, knowing that I am a whole, complete person unto myself, that the Universal spirit pervades everything and everyone and that, in fact, we are all one anyway, I am attempting to cultivate the feeling of connectedness I so treasure (and didn’t realize it until I lost it). Even this writing somehow makes me feel connected, as I know it will be read by my Breathing Prosperity readers and that makes me feel happy.

A lesson for me is that we never really know ourselves until we are truly in isolation. I spend much of my time at home on my computer these days, but I’m in a condo full of people and have many family and friends only a phone call – or an instant message – away. How much those connections mean to me, I never realized. My intent here, however, is to determine how I can create within myself the wholeness and lack of longing I am aiming for. I feel I’m a fairly self-dependent person and don’t need much ‘maintenance’ to please me…I should be able to go anywhere and feel happy and be able to enjoy myself, especially as I believe that I’m creating it all!

With that in mind, it’s time to ask myself “What do I want?”

I want: to smile and have a great time, to cherish every moment I’m here without longing for home, to be fully in the now and feeling satisfied, content and happy, to appreciate and savour each experience and moment as it comes, to express myself as a complete, happy, excited and joyous human being who is simply thrilled to be on this planet, feeling the wind and hearing the waves and grateful to be alive.

Presto! This did the trick.

Lesson: Remember to always, ALWAYS focus on what you want. I’ve not been doing that, and hence the poignant, bittersweet and lonesome feelings I’ve been having are definitely self-created. I knew it, but I had to delve into it to break the spell. Thanks for ‘listening!’ I hope this may help you some day when you need it.