The Breathing Prosperity blog

This title has been in my mind all day so I decided to write about it. I first read about the concept in T. Harv Eker’s book  “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.”

He says that poor people hold a belief that you have to choose – that you cannot have it all - whereas rich people believed they could have both or have it all.

What are some of the most popular beliefs in the I have to choose category?

1) You cannot be honest and rich, meaning you have a choice to make – be poor and honest OR be rich and dishonest.

I believe it was Robert Kiyosaki – Rich Dad, Poor Dad who talked about the fact that being rich doesn’t give you exclusive rights to be mean, greedy, evil or dishonest; neither does being poor give you exclusivity to being honest, hardworking, good and kind. Last I checked there were rich mean people and rich honest people - poor mean people and poor honest people. We grow up having to justify why we can’t have all the nice stuff, and the most common justification is honesty.

2) You cannot have the perfect relationship and you cannot have money AND love.

I used to date this great guy – Husband material to say the least – with one problem: really horrible sex. Now at some point it occurred to me – If I stay with this guy what am I affirming? That I cannot have it all – that there has to be something you don’t get – you can have the love but not the sex, the sex but not the love…the love but not the money, the money but not the love…

Someone recently shared with me, “I left my husband, which equalled money, because I didn’t have love - I then manifested a relationship that had no money, but lots of love…like I felt I had to give up one for the other. So now that I want money, am I kind of sabotaging the love part, unconsciously? Because maybe somwhere inside I feel I can’t have both?”…

Although I love Oprah and would gladly jump if she told me how high, I decided a few years ago that she wasn’t a good role model for me (Oh my god I can hear the screams). I realized a few years ago that she sent the wrong message to my brain – NOOOOOOOOO…Well yes – although an amazing woman, every time I saw her, internally I would think ‘She’s got the fame, the power, the money, no kids, no husband’. Well like a lot of people I’ve got kids. So then you start to think if she had kids, would she be able to give that much time to building the empire she has? I had to go home and feed my kids, do the school function thing, go out when I had a babysitter…and so rather than keep sending my mind this message that I could achieve more if I had no kids, I changed my role model to a woman who had kids – who didn’t have to choose – who had the husband, kids, money – J.K. ROWLING. What message does your role model send to your mind?

3) You cannot be rich and happy or to have money you have to give up something.

So many people hold this belief that you cannot be rich and happy – of course not! We tell ourselves these little things to lessen our sufferings – rich people have an unhappy life, no one loves them, they don’t get to spend with their family – they are working too many hours trying to make the money – because it would be unbearable if they had money and they were totally happy. So we tell ourselves that in order to be rich you had to give up something – time with your friends and family, your health for working too hard, etc. etc..

A lady told me once that she was married for 25 years and had never had money. When questioned further she said if she had money it would mean she had to give up her marriage. ‘Why would you have to do that?’ I asked. She said that she had never seen her husband with money and if she got rich her husband would leave. Why would he leave after 25 years? Because that’s when the women would come after him! And so to her it meant that she had a choice: her marriage or money, and of course she chose her marriage…

Here is the question: Why can’t you have it all? Why do you have to choose?