The Breathing Prosperity blog

Peace on Earth…and good will to all men. That’s how the song goes, right? Have you ever thought about that, and what it means to you personally?

(If you’re wondering what this has to do with the concept of prosperity, it’s simple: we cannot enjoy financial or any other type of prosperity when there is violence or deep unrest in our lives. Our planet and its people are not truly prosperous when some of us are killing and hurting others. We are all hurting ourselves as long as deep psychic wounds remain unhealed, and as long as they are passed from generation to generation instead of being dealt with at the level of cause rather than symptom.)

Do you want peace on earth? The real question is, are you willing to offer good will to ALL MEN in order to make peace a reality?

‘Who, me?’ you may say. ‘It’s the other guys who are creating wars, and acting in violent ways, and destroying lives, families and futures. Not me – I am a peaceful, good person and I certainly want peace on earth. If only those other guys would smarten up…it’s so sad.’

Are There Really Bad Guys?

The truth is, most of us are raised to WANT to perpetrate violence in retaliation for perceived or actual offences. Whether we want to do it ourselves (to hurt another in return for something they’ve done to us), or we want others to do it for us (have the police or the army or the government ‘get’ the bad guys), we live in a ‘might is right’ society and we are raised to try and protect our own little interests. Rarely do we see those other guys as tender, complex and important human beings just like ourselves, who want only the best for their families and who will vow revenge should something happen to them.

What happens in your mind when you get cut off intentionally by someone in traffic? Are there certain people in your life who rub you the wrong way? Maybe there are even folks who hurt you deeply and who you cannot stand the sight or the thought of…and what about the selfish jerks in your life? When you think about these people, do you offer them good will? Does your mind instantly forgive and do you smile with patience and love at their antics, as you would a child whom you adore? If this describes you, and there are no situations in which you feel anger, resentment or bitterness towards another human being, you are a truly aware and highly conscious individual, and it is my honour to have you reading here. You bring light and peace to us all. For the rest of us, it’s time we looked inside ourselves for our contribution to the level of peace in this world we all share.

If it’s difficult to forgive small grievances, imagine the power of collective grievances and deep cultural and religious hatreds, held by thousands or millions of people, and fueled by mass buy-in. The challenge is not a small one, but the trick, I think, is to tackle it person by person. If each of us can recognize the tendency toward separation and violence in our own hearts when it arises, we can choose to rise above it and to BE better; more loving, more open, more patient and tolerant and curious.

When we feel rage or intolerance towards another, THAT is where peace gets killed. This planet is full of people…individuals just like you and I, and each of us contributes collectively to the consciousness of the whole. The anger we feel at another is just like anyone else’s anger, and it all adds up. When we wish to seek revenge – whether it’s a small revenge like getting someone back for insulting us, or a huge vendetta against another culture for hurting our family or ancestors – we participate in the anguish of humanity. We perpetuate it and we continue creating it.

Have there not been times when you have made mistakes, and times when you’ve said or done things which now make you cringe? When you look back at your younger years, are there situations you’d like to do over, or wish you had handled differently? Perhaps you’ve hurt people – intentionally or otherwise – and perhaps you’ve been stupid and callous and selfish…and somehow you still manage to think you’re a pretty good person. You’ve grown, you’ve learned and you hope others will forgive you. Don’t others deserve those same missteps and the same forgiveness? Isn’t that rocky path an essential part of being human? There is always a reason behind another’s behavior, and there is always room for change and growth.

When we forgive, when we see that we are all the same, when we understand the actions of another because we’ve been there or we can otherwise empathise, we begin the process of healing. We can become connected and see through the veil of separation, and can raise our children to see beyond culture and race and all the other borderlines which have existed for far too long. Thoughts of hatred and revenge, no matter how petty, are poisons to us, both inside and out.

As within, so without…as long as we keep looking outside of ourselves for the solution, we will never find it, and never create it. As soon as EACH OF US takes responsibility for accepting each other as we are, for being tolerant and loving and for fostering connections instead of separation, we will begin to create our cherished ideal of PEACE ON EARTH.

Photo credit: NASA

Embracing Your Creative ‘Mistakes’

More and more, I’m starting to embrace all that I’ve done in the past…perhaps I can inspire you to do the same.

As an example, several years ago I was working in what seemed like the ultimate jail – a cubicle. I loathed the job although I loved the people. It was the feeling of having to be there and work on projects that meant less than nothing to me that drove me nearly insane. I felt I was wasting my life, and although I was offered promotions due to my professionalism and work ethic, I dreaded the thought of spending my whole working life there. As you may guess, everyone thought I was crazy for even considering giving up a ‘good thing.’

At the time, I swore I’d move beyond that horrid cubicle and I began by making a list, once I learned the nifty trick of defining what I want by being clear on what I DIDN’T want.

If you’d like to do this exercise, here’s how to do it effectively. Using life’s work as an example, start by listing your job from hell: everything you would (or do) absolutely hate about a job. I still have my list, and although I have utterly changed since then (more about that later), you might find it helpful, or at least amusing :

• Get up early and/or work late
• No appreciation
• Yelled at all the time for others’ mistakes (or mine)
• Everyone dumps their stuff on you
• No food available
• Time clock
• No benefits
• Dark or windowless area
• No radio or ventilation
• Fluorescent lighting and a ticking clock
• Molest-y men all around
• Gossipy people
• No chance for advancement

This exercise did not take into account many horrifying working conditions in other areas of the world, of course. It served well as a jumping off point for me to determine what I did want at the time. Here’s the list I made of my ‘ideal’ job, based on the opposites of the first list and without thinking too much about it:

• Wake up on my own time and only work late if I want to
• Able and encouraged to use my mistakes to learn – not blamed for anything not mine
• Being understood, empathized with
• Only my duties
• My choice of food readily available
• No one watching or counting my hours
• Benefits – health, dental, prescription, eyes somehow covered – no worries
• Windows, sunlight
• Music, fresh air, contact with people and world
• Indirect and pleasant task-oriented lighting
• Able to get absorbed in work without noticing time
• Co-workers or men in the business whose respect is given, earned: obvious equality
• Career-oriented, positive and intelligent people
• Advance as earned – my choice

The Creative Leap

After analyzing this information for a while, I decided that going into real estate as a salesperson would fulfill these desires nicely. I had a small daughter and wanted more flexibility, and my Mom had been in real estate years earlier. I also had a marketing and business background and valued integrity, professionalism and doing an excellent job for clients I cared about. Real estate seemed the ideal vocation for me. I went through the intense training and quit my job: I leapt.

The Results

Here’s where I admit to failure. hated real estate, and I mean hated it. I found that my clients didn’t appreciate me, my officemates and other Realtors either had no ambition or were very competitive, and I didn’t like ’selling’ to people at all. We were charged with approaching ‘For Sale by Owner’ households on a daily basis, and it left me cowering in my bed more than once, despite a wealth of sales material I read and listened to. I just wasn’t able to get my authentic self across. Once I had clients,  I loved them and treated them almost as I would my own family, and because I cared so much I would not be pushy with people. This caused them to either be wishy-washy, to walk all over me or to be pushed into things by some other unscrupulous agent.

There is much more to the story than this, but suffice to say real estate was NOT what I thought it was, and I had been fooled by the happy Realtor commercials.

I took such a risk with this new career path that it was four grueling years before I could admit to myself that it was failing me, and me it. I wanted it to work, but I was desperately unhappy, and on top of that the flexibility I thought I’d enjoy was definitely not there. My daughter’s most common complaint was about me dragging her to appointments, and that sure wasn’t quality time!

Fast Forward

I would not give up my experience in real estate, OR in any other job I performed and disliked - including the original instigator - for the world. Those experiences have made me who I am, and have informed the decisions I’ve made since then. From our experiences we can choose to define and then refine what it is that we want.

I am now working at my beautiful desk in my home, writing about things I am passionate about and enjoying my dinner while listening to jazz…with a beautiful view outside and the ability to stop and start whenever I wish. I’m in absolute heaven!

My central passion has become to help others look around and realize they can do the same thing, and it can be distilled down to 3 simple steps, no matter the subject:

1. DEFINE what you want, and take steps to experience it in some way
2. REFINE as you learn from your new experiences
3. ACHIEVE your dreams!

Without this creative, life- and happiness-affirming process, I think I would die from boredom – my worst nightmare.

I hope I can inspire you to new heights of achievement in your own life, and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me. Life is fleetingly short, and we are all in it together. Let’s make the most of it and make it spectacular!

P.S. If you’re feeling inspired to embrace your power, here’s a little boost in the form of an article by Steve Pavlina…be forewarned it’s not always easy, but it IS always rewarding in the end.