The Breathing Prosperity blog

Embracing Your Creative ‘Mistakes’

More and more, I’m starting to embrace all that I’ve done in the past…perhaps I can inspire you to do the same.

As an example, several years ago I was working in what seemed like the ultimate jail – a cubicle. I loathed the job although I loved the people. It was the feeling of having to be there and work on projects that meant less than nothing to me that drove me nearly insane. I felt I was wasting my life, and although I was offered promotions due to my professionalism and work ethic, I dreaded the thought of spending my whole working life there. As you may guess, everyone thought I was crazy for even considering giving up a ‘good thing.’

At the time, I swore I’d move beyond that horrid cubicle and I began by making a list, once I learned the nifty trick of defining what I want by being clear on what I DIDN’T want.

If you’d like to do this exercise, here’s how to do it effectively. Using life’s work as an example, start by listing your job from hell: everything you would (or do) absolutely hate about a job. I still have my list, and although I have utterly changed since then (more about that later), you might find it helpful, or at least amusing :

• Get up early and/or work late
• No appreciation
• Yelled at all the time for others’ mistakes (or mine)
• Everyone dumps their stuff on you
• No food available
• Time clock
• No benefits
• Dark or windowless area
• No radio or ventilation
• Fluorescent lighting and a ticking clock
• Molest-y men all around
• Gossipy people
• No chance for advancement

This exercise did not take into account many horrifying working conditions in other areas of the world, of course. It served well as a jumping off point for me to determine what I did want at the time. Here’s the list I made of my ‘ideal’ job, based on the opposites of the first list and without thinking too much about it:

• Wake up on my own time and only work late if I want to
• Able and encouraged to use my mistakes to learn – not blamed for anything not mine
• Being understood, empathized with
• Only my duties
• My choice of food readily available
• No one watching or counting my hours
• Benefits – health, dental, prescription, eyes somehow covered – no worries
• Windows, sunlight
• Music, fresh air, contact with people and world
• Indirect and pleasant task-oriented lighting
• Able to get absorbed in work without noticing time
• Co-workers or men in the business whose respect is given, earned: obvious equality
• Career-oriented, positive and intelligent people
• Advance as earned – my choice

The Creative Leap

After analyzing this information for a while, I decided that going into real estate as a salesperson would fulfill these desires nicely. I had a small daughter and wanted more flexibility, and my Mom had been in real estate years earlier. I also had a marketing and business background and valued integrity, professionalism and doing an excellent job for clients I cared about. Real estate seemed the ideal vocation for me. I went through the intense training and quit my job: I leapt.

The Results

Here’s where I admit to failure. hated real estate, and I mean hated it. I found that my clients didn’t appreciate me, my officemates and other Realtors either had no ambition or were very competitive, and I didn’t like ‘selling’ to people at all. We were charged with approaching ‘For Sale by Owner’ households on a daily basis, and it left me cowering in my bed more than once, despite a wealth of sales material I read and listened to. I just wasn’t able to get my authentic self across. Once I had clients,  I loved them and treated them almost as I would my own family, and because I cared so much I would not be pushy with people. This caused them to either be wishy-washy, to walk all over me or to be pushed into things by some other unscrupulous agent.

There is much more to the story than this, but suffice to say real estate was NOT what I thought it was, and I had been fooled by the happy Realtor commercials.

I took such a risk with this new career path that it was four grueling years before I could admit to myself that it was failing me, and me it. I wanted it to work, but I was desperately unhappy, and on top of that the flexibility I thought I’d enjoy was definitely not there. My daughter’s most common complaint was about me dragging her to appointments, and that sure wasn’t quality time!

Fast Forward

I would not give up my experience in real estate, OR in any other job I performed and disliked - including the original instigator - for the world. Those experiences have made me who I am, and have informed the decisions I’ve made since then. From our experiences we can choose to define and then refine what it is that we want.

I am now working at my beautiful desk in my home, writing about things I am passionate about and enjoying my dinner while listening to jazz…with a beautiful view outside and the ability to stop and start whenever I wish. I’m in absolute heaven!

My central passion has become to help others look around and realize they can do the same thing, and it can be distilled down to 3 simple steps, no matter the subject:

1. DEFINE what you want, and take steps to experience it in some way
2. REFINE as you learn from your new experiences
3. ACHIEVE your dreams!

Without this creative, life- and happiness-affirming process, I think I would die from boredom – my worst nightmare.

I hope I can inspire you to new heights of achievement in your own life, and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me. Life is fleetingly short, and we are all in it together. Let’s make the most of it and make it spectacular!

P.S. If you’re feeling inspired to embrace your power, here’s a little boost in the form of an article by Steve Pavlina…be forewarned it’s not always easy, but it IS always rewarding in the end.

First, a question: do you even know what your dreams are anymore?

I’ll bet you had lots of them when you were a kid. We all did…and then, somewhere along the way, we let go of them because we learned (read: were told by silly other people) that they had no value, were impossible or impractical, or that we had to do other, more important things with our lives. But what could be more important than our dreams? What is life without dreams?

Just to be clear, by dreams I mean those activities and pursuits that call to your heart, that make you smile when you think about them and some of which may even scare you a little – in a good way – because they are so big.

The beautiful thing about dreams is that they are unique to each of us, and if you think about it even for a moment, you may agree that this world would be an amazingly creative and diverse place if everyone followed their unique dreams. If we all followed our hearts and talents and expressed ourselves creatively by giving life to our grandest dreams and ambitions, what a magical place this would be!

Of course, it’s already magical, but isn’t it people who passionately pursued their dreams that gave us some of our more memorable books and art, man made landmarks, programs and companies, and so much more? How about putting people on the moon, or building libraries, incredible buildings, bridges and universities, or being the first black  president of the United States? Don’t these feats inspire us, bring us pleasure or help out many fellow humans?

I am currently attending personal development blogger Steve Pavlina’s first live workshop, and I’m enjoying every moment of it. The trip itself is fulfilling many of my personal dreams, including the intention to always work on refining and achieving my dreams themselves.

Here is a small snippet I shared yesterday with a law of attraction group I am part of:

May I say first that I have already made many, MANY of my dreams come true, and that is super-exciting for me. As a tiny example in my larger picture, a few years ago I was in Las Vegas walking around the Studio Walk at the MGM Grand…my honey and I got to this ‘secret passageway’ that had a key entry and when some people came out we peeked in curiously and saw a moving walkway leading…somewhere. We were not part of that crowd, so to speak — didn’t and couldn’t get past that door. I felt…longing. Longing to be part of that secret and to be someone who warranted ‘belonging’ behind that door. I later found out that it was the Signature section of the MGM, a condo and hotel in behind that is a little more exclusive and is quiet, elegant and has its own gated entry, concierge, valet parking, etc.. Right up my alley, but at the time I allowed that to make me feel less than – like I wasn’t good enough, or rich enough, to get in and be a part of that world.

I am thrilled to say that I am writing this from my beautiful suite in the Signature, overlooking the strip and the MGM Grand proper, and enjoying every moment of it. I have a gorgeous bathroom with jacuzzi, every amenity I could ask for and 24 hour room service – just my style. The suite is absolutely perfect for me in every way, in every touch of the décor. Last night my honey drove me here from LA, we enjoyed the valet parking and private check-in, and most of all, we enjoyed walking later from the MGM Grand through that door and into the private walkway. It made my week – nay, my decade. A small symbol of how far I’ve come in a few short years and I’m thrilled – thrilled! – to be here.

I don’t think there is a single person in this workshop who hasn’t changed the fabric of their lives in significant ways already, and who will not be inspired to further pursue/create their personal, unique dreams when this is through.

It’s fantastic to be in a room with so many articulate, intelligent, conscious and thoughtful people…for me, it’s like drinking a huge glass of fresh sweet water. I will be sorry when it’s over, but at the same time the connections and ideas flowing are part of the process of defining, refining and achieving one’s dreams, and this is the subject I’m passionate about.

YOU can do this too, and it’s never too late. Today, give some thought to what your dreams may look like, and remember that you can refine them as you go, but that won’t work if you don’t start somewhere.

P.S. I just posted a new video that gels nicely with this – you can see it under ‘JOY-LOVE-PEACE’ on the Inspiring Videos page. Enjoy!