We seem to have rigid thoughts or perceptions of the people we think we know, especially people we’ve known for a long period of time. I know once you’ve known someone you already have in your head how they are, how they act, the things they say, and throughout the years even though that person may have changed our view of them stays the same. Unchanged, unmoved, when we describe the person or think of this person we think along those lines. Oh this person is this or this person is that. What is ironic is that we are on our own personal development journey and we cannot understand why people think we are the same person we were 1 year ago or 6 months ago and we think don’t judge me by the person you knew because I’ve changed, yet we still judge others based on the person we always knew them to be.
I had the opportunity to meet up with someone I knew 4 years ago and when I was asked, I described with pure confidence this person and my view of this person. I never stopped to take into account that 4 years had passed and this person had changed. My mind does that with just about every person that I’ve ever met or known. I described this person to Shauna and I was convinced my conclusions were right. I said something to this person and they responded by saying Why would you think that?, I said that was the person I knew 4 years ago…Yeah but I’ve changed, they said and I thought am I the same as I was 4yrs ago? No I’m not the same. Do I walk around expecting people to realize that I’ve changed? Yes I do…
You meet someone and instantly you draw a conclusion based on how you feel about how they look, act or speak. You decide then and there if you like this person based on your assessement at the time. You say oh I don’t like her something about her doesn’t sit well with me, assuming that we know all there is to know about this person. Someone told me once that not everyone is NICE. I said not true – everyone is nice – just not nice to you…there is someone out there who holds something that makes that person extend a helping hand, or touches their heart – they just don’t act that way towards you. Even the most hardened person loves or has loved someone. I think we find this especially true with people we brand as committing crime of some sort. Like if someone robs a store, 10 years later we would still clutch our purses and think I will not go to the bathroom and leave him alone – he’s a thief. I’m not saying that you should leave your purse – I’m just saying its called Branding. We’ve branded this person with our thoughts on who we believe they are and from our perspective they will always be that way…yet we want people to have an ever-changing view of us because we are ever-changing…
Are you judging everyone by thoughts or perceptions you knew of them years ago? Do you believe people can change? Do you believe that you have changed?
May 6th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
It is all about perception and your audience’s point of view. You draw conclusions about someone’s Personal Brand from their appearance, personality, competencies and through differentiation. I call these the four elements of a Personal Brand. Since you meet so many people all the time, only those with significant differentiation will liner in your mind
May 7th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Hi Ophelia,
Yes. I believe people can change.
May 7th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Hmmm – while I’m not saying that someone can’t change, there are definitely times where you want some proof. Plus there are times when they won’t change – and believing elsewise will only get you into more trouble or give you more grief.
I’m not talking about the obvious forms of abuse, where someone claims “He’s changed, he promised he’d never hit me again,” and the next time you seem her she has a black eye.
I’ve mentioned my two ex-girlfriends before. I subconsciously managed to manifest not going on a trip I really wanted to go to in 2005 because I would see and did not need/want to deal with either of them then. I now focus on being healthy in that/those situations and around them, and so am feeling much better about next year’s meeting.
I have never met the one face-to-face, the other I have a couple of times, the last in mid-2004. I’m much more interested in seeing everybody else than I am those two.
By their actions, they haven’t changed. If they were to ask me about being friends again, I might consider a very low-level situation, but nothing like it once was between us (either of them and me). But that’s not just branding, that’s setting boundaries as well.
I think there’s a difference between branding and bounding. Often they overlap – bounding can be caused by branding, for example.
Whatever happens, I’m learning to do and deal with both much better. I will be much much better prepared in 2008 than I was in 2004!
May 8th, 2007 at 6:30 am
I agree with your post about people can change because I experienced it myself..
My life totally change after I attend one of Anthony Robbins seminar…
Now I always do visualization twice a day, to help me stay focus to achieve my goals..
Herman
May 8th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Hey guys,
Thanks for all your wonderful comments,
Theresa I get your point but it is also about perspective.. From your perspective they haven’t changed but maybe from theirs neither have you..
Herman Tony Robbins most definately makes a huge diffrence in most people’s lives.
May 8th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Dean
Thanks for your comments, I realize that you make or draw conclusions based on how someone maybe presenting themselves at that moment.. But isnt that based on our own personal judgement..What does torn sneekers mean- that someone is broke..But that isnt always true..What does lots of expensive jewerly mean that someone is rich.. that isn’t always true either.. I look forward to reading your posts about personal branding.
Michuael thanks for your comment. People can and do change all the time or else what would be the point of life.
May 8th, 2007 at 11:23 am
People can change. It is only that whether they make the decision to change or not. The decision making from them.
May 9th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
People can change creating something from nothing. It also depend on what there are attracted to. Whatever is going on in their mind, there are attracting to themselve.