As usual, it is in practice rather than in theory that we find out if our beliefs and choices serve us.
I have been so deeply sad in the past couple of days about Jordan (about whom I wrote yesterday) that I haven’t really cared about much except perhaps being grateful for my own little girl. I know very well that this stagnant state of mind is neither healthy nor helpful, but I also know from my bereavement training that people need to have a little space and time to assimilate something – myself included.
However, as we know many people die in many tragic ways all over the world every day. One of the very fundamental principles of what we teach – as you will hear everywhere from our courses to The Secret – is that you create and experience what you think about. Thus, sadness begets sadness. We can ALWAYS find something to be sad or upset about, even if it isn’t an immediate tragic event.
So, this morning as I was driving along and trying to shake myself out of it, it occurred to me that maybe we feel guilty being happy when we know things aren’t ‘right’. It all comes down to the same thing in a way…do you not have wealth because inside you are concerned that people won’t like you? Do you hold your tongue when you are angry out of respect, or is it because you are afraid of the repercussions of speaking your mind? Do you feel wrong being happy when someone you know is sick, or hurting? The underlying belief in all of this is really important because it keeps us from creating and experiencing the lives of our dreams…it says that what others think is more important than our own happiness. That we must curtail ourselves, hold ourselves back and act in certain ‘acceptable ‘ways. How can we just go around being HAPPY???
Well…if you say you want happiness, then how can you achieve it if you don’t choose it?…not just when it is easy and everything is going swimmingly, but always…because it is your choice, and it is your life.
Of course there is a time for sadness and for anger, but if we hang on to it it hurts only us, both as we hang on to it and by the results we create with it…you are what you think about. I can grieve with my friends and be happy in my own life all at the same time. I must keep my perspective balanced and hold all of it – happy and sad – in my mind at one time.
I have already decided (=intent) that when faced with adversity, I will choose to bounce back and carry on with my life, being focused on my goals (=flexibility), so now I need only to rely on that prior decision to help me regain my perspective. This is what we mean when we say decide what you want to be, and then BE THAT. I choose peace, and from that place I can best help myself and my friends.
