Feeling Like a Bad Person & the Need for Approval
Author: ophelia | Category: Law of AttractionAt the very moment that I write this post I find myself feeling like a bad person because I will not do what others expect me to do, and having been taught to seek approval since I was a child there is a part of me that feels that when I say No that no one will like me anymore. I seem to have those conflicts lately; the conflict of allowing yourself to be walked on and trampled while the person who walks over you smiles down at you going ‘Yeah I like you now – I really do. You stay right there while I continue to walk over you okay?’ My back probably has a lot of skid marks from people who have walked on it all the time, trying to make me feel guilty and me seeking some level of approval. What is this need for us to be liked?…
Is it that if we aren’t liked that we will be alone forever and die? Is it that we don’t want to feel all alone in this world, why we seem to always do things even when they no longer serve us? Is the need to fit in or belong so strong that we would go against our better judgement?
We arrived in Florida last week to meet Shauna and Jacqeuline and we flew first class. My son Nicholas -2 years old - wouldn’t stop talking. He wasn’t crying or throwing a tantrum, he just wouldn’t stop talking – Mommy this, candy that, spiderman this. I could hear the people behind me when we took our seats go ‘THIS IS NOT GOOD!’ as Nicholas sat down, and I could hear the people in front of me saying ‘Shut up’ as he was talking – like how dare I take a 2 year old in First Class – like coach for little kids, definitely not first class. I felt like the lowest piece of paper under a shoe and like the worst person alive. I swear if they had seats in coach I would have gotten up and gone to coach. I felt so embarrased and felt like maybe I should repay these people for having to put up with a kid in first class. I felt like such a bad person because I didn’t do what others expected of me which was to sit in coach with my kid and the worst part is that I would have changed my behavior so they (strangers) would like me better. Me going into coach would have them sighing in relief and they would have thought well at least she had the decencency to go into coach – such a nice woman – to take her and her talkative kid out of first class, kids aren’t meant to be here anyway.
It seems like I’ve spent the greater part of my life trying to please someone outside of myself in an effort to get people to like me; to think I’m this great person. Even in school we are taught to seek the teacher’s approval, to be popular, and that not doing what others want or expect is frowned upon and not accepted.
How much does the way others view us actually affect our lives? …
June 12th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I would have felt like a much worse person if I were to have let those snobby people play any part in where my child and I “should” sit.
People tend to forget that they were children at one point too, wanting to know everything about everything they see, think or can get their hands on, especially at that age.
Don’t feel bad because they are the inconsiderate ones,…NOT you! It would have been a different story if your child was crying or throwing a tatrum but not when they are just talking a lot, thats what kids do!
Don’t let those kind of people make you feel bad.
This is the first post of yours I have read but I can tell you are a good person. I know exactly how you feel about wanting people to like you, I was the same way. But then it dawned on me,…It doesnt really matter if this person likes me or not! I like me, I know I’m a good person and thats all that matters.
Just wanted to tell you what I think. :0)
Hope you feel better soon!
June 12th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
You asked:
“How much does the way others view
us actually affect our lives?”
I would say the answer to that is:
“As much as we ALLOW it to.”
June 13th, 2007 at 3:23 am
Be careful with your thought. Your thought is a real mind energy, it will attract the other energy from the universe. If you feel bad you will think bad, and vice versa… if you feed good you will think good. When you think good your mind energy will be in positive level, and it will attract all the positive energy in the universe. You are what you think. This is the work of Law of Attraction.