The Breathing Prosperity blog

Today’s post will be an actual walk-through of an exercise, taking me – the author – and you – the reader – through the process of going from a state of allowing outside circumstances t o determine one’s mood to being entirely choice-based ie. choosing one’s emotional state. Think of it like a recipe for feeling better when something has affected your peace of mind.

Quick Background

Today, several ‘negative’ things have happened around me, seemingly conspiring to put me into a bad mood. There was no original bad mood on my part that I’m aware of that would have attracted negativity to me. My reactions were internal and did not pull anyone else into any drama, so this is all about me and my desire to return to a happy, grateful state of mind. Happy and grateful are my ‘normal’ and I want them back, pronto!

If you habitually find that the moods of others affects you more deeply than you’d like, or that you have less control over your emotional states than you want, this exercise is for you. I hope you find it helpful!

Living in joy and gratitude is a sure way to both enjoy your life – every precious moment – to the fullest as well as to attract and create all the wonderful things you dream of.

The Feel Good Recipe

1) The first step for me, as I’ve already intimated, is to consider what I may have inadvertently done to cause or contribute to anything that’s going on. While ultimately I believe we create absolutely everything around us, in today’s case I feel fairly certain that it’s simply the drama of others seeping into my immediate reality. Because I care about these others I don’t want to see them hurting or angry, but on the other hand because I care deeply about myself and my peace of mind, I choose not to get involved. Having determined that the drama or upset has nothing to do with me, I have taken the first, self-responsible step in my ‘recovery.’

2) I took a walk to clear my head. I watched the kids playing in a nearby park; I enjoyed watching a seagull soaring over the park and letting the wind take him where it may. The seagull reminded me about detachment and I began to detach myself from the heavy emotions, which were feeling quite foreign to me and were definitely unwanted.

3) Writing things out is a great step in working out feelings and re-gaining perspective. Just by typing this I am already feeling more like myself, and I can feel the tension and despondency I was feeling draining away to where it belongs — away from me! Yet again, taking responsibility for my own feelings and reactions is an important step in choosing to feel great.

3) As you might have guessed, gratitude is a big part of feeling good on a day-to-day basis. However, when in the midst of negativity, gratitude can be difficult to cultivate, and the attempt can often backfire. For instance, if you’re feeling angry or upset and you begin to ask yourself to focus on those things for which you ‘should’ be feeling grateful, your angry, upset mind will not likely respond well. Instead, do the things mentioned above (or whatever normally works for you – perhaps yoga, or talking [not bitching] to a friend), and let yourself return to calm and peace. Then you can look around and remind yourself of all the wonderful things and people surrounding you.

At this point, you may wish to ‘jump-start’ the process by imagining that said things and people were suddenly gone from your life. What if there was an earthquake or other devastating event and you lost your home and all your material possessions? What if those people who are annoying you were in an accident? Sometimes by imagining the worst we can remind ourselves of how wonderful things really are in the present. Even if things aren’t perfect – are they ever? – there is always, ALWAYS so very much to be grateful for.

4) Now that you are likely feeling at least neutral if not quite a bit better, you can take the next step and make yourself feel fabulous. Create a list of things that make you laugh, or watch a funny or feel-good movie. Look through some old photos, look up some online jokes for a quick boost, or watch some inspiring videos, some of which are like instant juice of the feel-better kind.

This whole process rests on the premise that you have made a conscious choice that you wish to cultivate joy and peace of mind in your life — that you no longer wish to be dragged into the dramas and negative emotions of the people around you, and that your own happiness is your key priority.

Enjoy and be happy!

For any of you who have seen The Secret, there will be a familiar line about how, if you focus on what you really love about another person rather than the things you don’t like, the Universe will set things up so that you ‘zig’ when the other person ‘zags.’ In other words, the Law of Attraction works so that you cannot be in the same space as someone is vibrating with a totally different energy level than you are, at least for long.

Today I have a question, because it seems to be plaguing me as far as what is ‘right’ in this game of understanding and applying the Law of Attraction. If you are in a relationship with someone there will be things that you wish the other person would change…if you are in it long enough! Knowing about Law of Attraction, you may decide instead to look inside and see what you are doing to create whatever the situation is, and if the actions of the other are destructive, you may choose at some point to end the relationship. My question is this: at what point do you draw the line?…What if the other person’s actions are not harmful to you, but somehow you feel you need or want something more/different and you realize it is not fair to expect anything of the other person than to be who they are…? If we are absolutely in control, then we should be able to create the perfect relationship with just about anyone…thus there should never be a reason to leave ie. if we change ourselves enough, any relationship should work out. Of course I am not discounting the desires, and level of maturity, development, etc., of the other party; this is merely a concept I keep kicking around and cannot seem to find a solid answer. I have been asked by many people who are unsure of the point at which they should give up on a current relationship, and I’m asking myself the same question. After ensuring they are not staying out of fear of being alone, how does one decide? If there is already a relationship with a lot going for it, how do you know whether to focus on enjoying the good parts (ie. make those expand in your consciousness and in reality), or to really go for having everything you want, 100%…?