I’d be willing to bet that you may feel less worthy than you should, because sadly we all do it. We are harder on ourselves than we should be, and we wonder why we can’t attract wonderful things…

We try and teach our kids to have high self-esteem, yet often we do not have loads of it ourselves. How can we model something we do not feel? I remember reading once about a fabulous parent who taught her child respect by respecting herself. She would say to her daughter, ‘I respect myself and therefore I won’t allow you to talk to me that way.’ She didn’t demand respect, she demonstrated it…a far deeper and more effective lesson, I would guess. I was so impressed with this, and the more I read and the more I learn I see that many of our problems, especially when it comes to lack of abundance – of love, of money, of anything that is important to us – stem from feeling we are somehow not worthy.

Now where would we get such ideas? Do you believe you feel this way somewhere inside?

Perhaps on the surface of things you think you have great self-esteem; you feel happy generally, you are liked by others and don’t worry too much about what people think. Great! Here are a few questions and suggestions for exploring whether this issue actually affects you, and to help you think about where these thoughts may have come from:

• When you try something new or unfamiliar, what kind of words do you hear in your head? If you do not meet your expectations when trying something, what do you honestly say to yourself? You may be surprised at how much you beat yourself up, even though you may simultaneously try and console yourself. The field of psychology tells us that the voices in our heads in such situations are usually ‘old tapes’ running from things we heard when we were kids, and unless you had spectacularly effective and positively encouraging parents, these tapes are not always good for our self-esteem. If you ever call yourself stupid, or are embarrassed, or have regrets, or hang on to hurts you feel were done to you, you may have lower than optimal self-esteem. You don;t feel great about who you are in the world, and take your learning experiences with humour and gratitude and self-love. Luckily this can be remedied, because you are a truly fantastic person who just needs to be more aware of it (I promise!). Everything you do makes perfect sense for you, and there are no mistakes. Consider your whole life as you would a child learning to walk, and give yourself a break. Have fun, lighten up, encourage yourself (if you don’t, who will?…), and be a good friend to your fine self.
• Are you impatient, easily frustrated, or easily discouraged? Do you think there may be something wrong with you? Are you to slow, or too old, or too young, or not of the right cultural background to fulfill your dreams? These are all either limiting beliefs or symptoms of not believing in yourself and all that you are capable of. (Related helpful article: Finding Limiting Beliefs) Impatience can seem like confidence, but often masks an inability to have faith and see things through in a longer-term plan. We lack the trust in ourselves and the Universe to just KNOW that things will work out as they should, and we want to force the issue because we are afraid ‘it’ will never happen. When we do not feel we are capable or worthy, we hold our dreams away or give up on them entirely. Oh, what a sad state of affairs! Luckily, many, many tools exist to help you relax and just BE the person you are; to accept your exact self and love your life. This doesn’t mean you have to accept everything in your life, as people fear…instead it empowers you to choose differently from a place of confidence.
• Are you critical of others? Are you afraid of meeting people, or speaking in public? Do you worry about what you wear or drive or do for a living, more than you enjoy the actual experiences of getting out into a beautiful day, talking to and learning about people, helping others with your knowledge and experiences, smiling and chatting, wearing things that make you comfortable and happy, feeling a breeze on your face? When we worry about what others think we are discounting our own lives and our own opinions. More importantly, we are not being authentically ourselves and thus not sharing ourselves with others in a meaningful way. When you can enjoy your life experiences every day (fully thinking about yourself and how you like things, not worrying about appearances) AND take pleasure in meeting others and thinking about THEM instead of yourself, you have an appropriate balance. This means taking care of yourself and coming from a place of happiness and completeness as you go out into the world. In this state, you would not allow anyone to take advantage of you (a fear many have) because you respect and love yourself; you can open up and just listen and learn and enjoy your interactions.

These are just a few thoughts that came to me today. Life is indeed precious and short, as we all see whenever we lose someone dear. Our joy is to be had in the everyday things, and the time in which to create and attract a life you love is shorter than you may realize. Love yourself, KNOW that you are a fantastic, beautiful creation, and enjoy every moment! Call your dreams to you like the creator you are, and shine like a light of inspiration for those around you. No more hesitating or thinking thoughts of unworthiness…there isn’t enough time…and you are AWESOME!

I am glad to see that many, many shows I’ve watched lately, and many books I’ve read, are addressing the truths I so eagerly seek. It’s strange how the Law of Attraction works, in that all of the subjects I’m passionate about or interested in seem to be falling into my lap, and more importantly are getting major mainstream media attention. I’ll be reading a book about vegetarianism and our factory farming processes (Food, Inc.) and see a show on Discovery about climate change and how the farmers in China who are trying to grow organically can barely find the resources to do so, and are struggling to survive with rising temperatures threatening their livelihoods…did you know that the most highly-used staple food in the world, rice, is in danger of not being able to flower due to higher overall temperatures? According to the farmers on the front lines, the race is on to develop a rice grain able to withstand sustained higher temperatures; apparently rice is very particular, and will not flower unless conditions are just so.

I’m learning about genetically modified crops which people like Bill Gates are championing (not all gm is bad), grains which can withstand heat and tropical droughts in Africa, for instance, only to learn in my next reading session that huge companies like Monsanto hold so many patents on grains that genetic pioneers for good causes and organic farmers alike may be unable to create the futures they so passionately believe in. It scares me.

Then I read about the reality of the world oil situation, which ties entirely into how economic cycles will play out in the future and bodes well for organic farming, local businesses and the planet as a whole, but will hurt countless people financially unless we truly change our ways. What will it take for each of us, as individuals, to wean ourselves from a fossil-fuel-based life? For it is individuals en masse who sway the tide of behavior, not governments nor corporations. Advertise all you want, but people caught in a financial crisis can’t afford luxury when necessities are hard to come by. There is, however, plenty of opportunity in creating our new world, and those who look ahead and stay informed can not only thrive but also be proud to be part of positive social and economic change. See below for ideas and inspiration.

Speaking of sea changes, we’ve all been taking about how we are on the cusp of the age of consciosuness, of mind over matter, and we have discussed here many times the incredible power we each possess to change things with our thoughts. Individually and collectively, we are learning that we are far more capable of adaptation and creative solutions to challenges than we ever guessed. Things are not static, nor are they hopeless. This is an exciting, trying time and there is not other time in history I’d rather be alive. I am so very grateful for this time I have on Earth, and I hope that in some small way I can be of help in creating solutions to the challenges we face. We are an incredible species with amazing capabilities which we are only now waking up to. Women and men are evolving and releasing old ways, and everything from race relations to the way we raise our children is changing (you may enjoy Gary Zukav’s books about this subject).

The question I put to you is, what part in all of this are YOU playing? For each of us is important; no choice is without consequence. For every story you hear that depresses or scares you, there are people and organizations springing up to do something about it, helped along by the amazing connections made possible by the internet. If you want to feel useful, or passionate, or inspired, do a tiny amount of research and you’ll find empowered men and women creating change which you can be a part of. Some examples that have inspired me include:

A Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey: After my Dad had a stroke last year I became keenly interested in our capacity to heal. This is a fascinating tale of healing from the inside out after a stroke, told by the scientist who experienced it, and who was told it could not be done. A different and very compelling story is told by David Servan-Schreiber, a doctor who healed himself from brain cancer, again after being told there wasn’t much hope for him. His book, Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life, is a compelling account of how cancer works and the many ways we can counter-act it, for both preventive and healing purposes. I hope it helps my friend Daan, who is dealing valiantly with a brain tumour and who is one of the most inspiring and joyful people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. These books and others, for instance Lee Strobel’s The Case for a Creator and the amazing The Brain that Changes Itself show us clearly that there is more than meets the eye here, as far as what we are capable of, and that the traditional scientific way of looking at things must expand and evolve.

Lori Painter, a fellow blogger and I must say an all-round incredible human being, writes consistently moving articles about how we can all go about creating a better world, from our bodies and home environments to the planet as a whole. Get educated and then get involved; just as it should take a community to raise a child, it takes each of us making conscious choices to create change. Read or watch Food, Inc. and Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story; read Your World is About to Get a Whole Lot Smaller: Oil and the End of Globalization, and watch the powerful National Geographic videos about our human footprint Lori has posted on her blog Inspire2Act. Then watch some inspiring videos like those found here and feel the collective soul of humanity that you are a part of.

Just as pursuits such as getting a financial education and making more conscious choices are connected, and will create a better world for us and our children, WE are all connected. Aspire to that highest of joys and the connectedness that can move us to great things and BE part of the change!